That's intense
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize