I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
