i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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