Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Buhtt sex?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
