I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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