i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
