last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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