So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
