the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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