Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
