my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
