so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
