I just pynch a tree in the face
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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