the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Randomize
