I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I want to make a zoo with you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize