im six kinds of drunk right now
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
