my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
