I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
