Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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