if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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