Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
