when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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