I didn't shave. On purpose
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize