Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He has the fingertips of a God
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
