you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
