the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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