But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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