Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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