ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
