I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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