You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
