What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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