I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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