I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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