I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
