No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
