apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
