their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize