I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
