I hate all girls vehemently.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you inspire me to be a worse person
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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