Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize