No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
