I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
