no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
