there were more penises there than on chat roulette
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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