worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
