yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
