You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
