that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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