Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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