Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
