He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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