He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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