You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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