How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
