New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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