Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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