I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize