What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
