It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
