It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
