We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
