The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
did i walk over a car last night?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
