I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
