every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
