You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize