You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
